Back Stabber

"Could it be I been away too long, did I cross your mind when I was gone"? Lol, sorry I love that song and its fitting for this moment. Plus dammit I love Michael, always and forever. That should have been my man cause he not only sexy (1980-1983) but he could move and he was such a sweetheart. If he had a bitch like me back then I honestly think things would have been waaay different for him. Plus, I aint scared of Joseph, lol. Anyway, its been a long time and I'm sorry. I was goin through some things and I was kinda in too good of a mood to write but now that everything has gone to hell I'm back, lol.

I just read "Revelations" and I'm kickin myself for not following through wit the shit I said. The nigga I was referring to in that blog ended up stabbin me in the back and he definately not gonna be the future. Its almost kinda sad because his geeky ass in a sense played me. Wtf!? How does that happen? Well I am a sucka for niggas that cry and he cried a lot. Maybe I did him wrong in some way and this was Karma's way of makin it even cause I ended up cryin for him but I guess he not a softy like me wit the tears. Oh well, next time I stab somebody in the front I make sure not to walk away until they dead, lol.

Also, I am absolutely done wit niggas from the job! I just need to gain a social life and meet niggas outside of the workplace. Do u know how hard it is to not only hate a job but have to deal wit a "break-up" at the job? Omg its the worst thing to do. At least the previous nigga from the job was fired so I didn't have to deal wit the "what if's." After everything ended I felt like I did not want to commit to anyone new. I don't even wanna fuck and that's the shocker to me lol. Every new guy I befriend I honestly have no intentions other than association that can possibly grow into friendship and definately no benefits! However, they try to take it to another level. Try to take me out on a date, try to flirt wit me, and even tried to get wit me. This one guy I use to be cool wit turned into a stalker. Me n him would hang out sometimes, he would talk to me so I wouldn't be so sad about my breakup and that was it. So when him and his girl ended I only wanted to return the favor. Man, he kept askin me all these hypothetical questions about would I take care of him if he was sick and etc. I knew what he was doin so I tried to make myself look like a selfish, cold-hearted person. That didn't work, so I started to talk about all the guys I like and wanna get wit, still didn't work. Then I insulted him and told him that he was too short for me (he really is shorter than me) and that just made him try even harder like it was a challenge. Finally he ask if I was affectionate and I told him the answer which is kinda the truth, I'm not. So he then went on to say,"April I don't think I'm the guy for you. Nah, there's somebody out there for u and its not me. I'm just not that guy." That shit pissed me the fuck off man cause he was acting like I was tryin to get at him. So I stop talkin to him. His as kept callin, textin, leavin me voice messages, and it was non-stop.

I just came to the conclusion that when u don't give a fuck people will care but the moment you care that's when they don't give a fuck. I'm not bout to let anyone stab my back again. Lol, its already crooked.