Mariage.......AGAIN!

"Lol, I'm assuming that I'm approaching that age where everybody is gettin married. I found out the other day that my former roommate is getting married. Am I jealous? Not at all......I'm not ready for marriage. I already know nine times out of ten, wait I'll be nice, nine times out of 12 I'll end up gettin a divorce, lol. So congrats to all the losers that are gettin married at an early age or already married. I personally prefer the old "got knocked up before being engaged" scenario."


Damn two years ago I wrote that blog about marriage and how people were losers for getting married at an early age. Okay so my close friend, Tiffany, just got married yesterday and I'm jealous. Not because she's married, trust me I would have been mad if she didn't marry the guy. I'm jealous at the fact that she married the guy she wanted. I was there the day she told me she liked him, 5 years ago. She not only got her crush but she managed to stay in a relationship with him to the point that they got married. I can never seem to get the guy I want, yet alone be in a relationship that isn't or turns into shit. And the whole, "knocked up before marriage" scenario I said I rather do 2 years ago........yeah that is so not the way to go.
Anyway, its down to two people who aren't married, me and Mellonea, the two Leo's *sighs* What the hell we doin wrong? We deserve love too!!! Why can't we get our cake and eat it too? Well I'll cherish the days of us being single because I already know she probably will be the next to get married. Its cool though cause you save the best for last. Trust, I will be the one with the lavish wedding. I am from Detroit and apparently we like to show off. Lol, I'ma be stuntin like my boss' cousins. He said everybody knew who his Detroit Cousins were cause they were the only ones wearing their mink coats and sunglasses inside the church in March. I know I can't afford the big wedding now so I need some time to get my income right. Besides, I want my lil Summer Time to be the flower girl.

Lupe Did It Again

I just heard the cutest song by Lupe Fiasco, lol. It put a smile on my face and trust me, I needed this little chuckle. Today I woke up and cleaned up my apt, got rid of Summer's old toys, and took myself to the movies to see Seven Pounds. The movie wasn't what I expected but its something that would make you cry. Had I not been out in public then yeah I would have cried. Anyway, I was down but Mr. Fiasco's rhymes about how he approached a girl got me in a chipper mood. It just reminded me about how I like geeks/dorks/nerds. Those guys are the ones that would hold a chick like me down, lol. He would genuinely like me, not cheat on me, and do anything and everything to make me happy. Problem with that is he probably wouldn't have style, have a good body, or have much down under. Damn, why can't someone with this mentality but the swag of T.I. approach me?

Merry Chirstmas

Today I had a dream that was weird as hell, I had a dream that someone I knew fucked a chick and was too "sleepy" to realize that the chick he was fuckin wasn't their significant other. I kinda got the impression that because the guy was too sleepy to realize the different girl that he also didn't remember to wear a condom or to pull out. I'm not gonna mention anything to him because I figure its just a dream and since I'm writing about it maybe it won't come true. So for all guys that read this, please pull out and make sure the girl is yours, lol. Anyway, after I woke up I laid in bed just thinkin bout the dream and WAM! Out of nowhere I remember that I didn't pay my car insurance.

I immediately call Progressive and they confirmed that my car insurance was canceled as of the 13th. I gotta pay them $213.00 in order to get it back and I only have $120.00 in my acct. I called my mom to see if she could send me some money and she didn't answer the phone. I then call Progressive back to see if I can have a grace period because I get paid this week. They told me no and said my grace period was when I didn't pay them when it was due. I asked if there was a minimum amount to pay instead of the full balance and they told me no. Geez, this is like one of the reasons why I want a man in my life. If somethin like this would happen I would call up my boo and say, "baby I am so sorry to ask you this but can you please lend me $100? I forgot to pay my car insurance and you know I can't drive to work unless I have that." Then he would say, "Girl....you know me better than that, you can have whateva you like as long as you do one thing." "Aww you are so sweet, what's that baby"? "As long as you "Kiss Me Thru the Phone"" LMAO!!!!

I'm sorry, you gotta have some humor to this or else you'll always be down over unexpected shit. So I then call my sister and tell her about my car insurance with full details. I told her I paid for Summer's Daycare last night and how on Monday I had to get 4 brand new tires along with an alignment from the dealership. I told her I only have $120 and I only need $100 and that I would pay her back and that I called ma and she didn't answer. She tells me she'll do and I asked her when and she said sometime today. So then I explain to her the significance of getting this done before 10a.m. case I gotta drive to work and need to be on the highway by then. So she said ok and says, "Merry Christmas." FUCK!!! My Christmas gift is her paying my car insurance? I'm grateful but....I kinda wanted to be able to show off what I got for Christmas.

A New Day

Alright I gotta get my shit together cause I'm tired of being this way. I want to get anything and everything I possibly want. So all that shit I talked about back in 05' bout how I want an audio system and etc, yeah that old shit, I'm gettin it. I converse with this cool ass chick named Rachael and she got me going. Lol, this chick has over 70 pairs f shoes. OMG.....I'm not even gonna say how many I got but its a very low number. Man, shoes make or break an outfit and ugh......I just dont be cuttin it like I use to. So I'm bout to see if me and Titus can figure somethin out so I'm able to work more hours and not have to worry bout Daycare for Summer. Also, I want my baby to be urbanized or bougie at any given moment. So overall, I just gotta get my ish right. At work, they have this board and it has the names of all the top sellers and etc. My name was on there like 2 months ago and due to some unforseen events depression kicked in and I stop caring. So I gotta get back to my old mentality when it comes to selling cable, hsi, and cdv (phones) so my name can be up there. Cause if my name there, my money right, I can start my shoe collection, and I can get my baby all the new toys, lol. Lol, so if any of ya need some cable or hsi then let me know.

Dead and Gone

I don't like constructive criticism, I don't like being called something I'm not, and I don't like it when my feelings are hurt. Today all three things were done to me by the person that I care for the most. Had it been said or done by any other person I would have either been mad or just cut them loose altogether. I didn't do that to this person, I care too much. I keep coming back, always taking more and more. So is this tolerance I have a good or bad thing? I've felt so much pain, anger, happiness and any other feeling I had that I almost feel empty inside. Like, no matter what is said or done, I keep going through it. I play the role of being a victim, that's my thing, gotta have people feeling sorry for me. I'm crazy, I did a lot of weird things that most people wouldn't do. I'm a bad person because I can talk so openly about my sexual experiences. I'm a bad judge of character, I can't seem to keep the right people around me. I'm all these things and more but I can't see that. So to the person, that I care for the most, thank you for shedding a new light upon myself. With or without your help, I will overcome any and every obstacle that I face. Even when it comes to my own flaws and downfall, I'll fix it.

I Decided

After speaking to HR and getting a better understanding of short-term disability and my vacation hours I decided not to get the surgery. I thought I would lose all my hours before they start paying me the std, so I was in a rush to get this done before January so I can have vacation hours. Another reason why I'm not gettin it done is because I need a 2nd and 3rd opinion. They talkin bout fusing my back from T3 to S1. When I first heard this I didn't have a clear understanding of what that meant. After doing the research that basically means from my collar bone to my scrotum (tail bone). Now I expressed to the dr that I'm concerned about how much flexibility I'll have left because I have this trick called "The Joker." I won't go into details but I DO NOT want to lose my ability to do that. If they fused my back that low then that would be damn near impossible for me to do it again. Finally, I figured I just get my shit done in MI that way my fam can take care of me and I'll have the baby with me. I'm not gonna tell anybody this until the day of surgery. Lol, I figured I get all the concerned texts and calls then feel special for a day.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Is it really bad to drink alone? Now I use to be the main one sayin I didn't want to drink by myself because only alcoholics do it. Lately I've been drinkin a lot and I just don't have time to find someone to drink wit me. So I decided to drink when I felt it was necessary. So I'm on myspace and everyone askin me what am I doin and I tell them I'm drinking. Soon as I do that they automatically ask me who am I drinking with. Why would be on myspace talking to you if I was drinking with somebody? Lol, I just thought that was kinda a stupid question to ask. MAbe they should say, "Can I come join you"? Wait......I hope I didn't just jinx myself cause none of them cute and I do have that big ass sign over my head that does say "Easy Fuck." Lol, let me get off before I get mad a someone for tryin me

Who da Fuck is You!?

Ok I'm having a semi-bad day, period started, white people tryin to get the nigga to come out of me on the road, and I'm bored. So I'm on myspace bloggin so friends know what the deal is and this guy hits me up. Me and him went to Morris Brown and talk every now and then. He asks me if I miss him and I gave him a smart ass remark. So he then talks some shit bout how he wanted to make me his girl and that I'm taken. So I said,"I only hear from you once every other month, you must got a girl"? He tells me he does then talks about how he wants to chill with me.

ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS!? I must have a fuckin sign over my head that says, "Easy fuck" cause I apparently seem to attract nigga's that aren't satisfied with the sex they get. So I go on his page and see his gf, she in Chi-Town. From all the recent comments she left they must be on great terms wit each other cause she was talkin bout the trip they takin together. I told him nah maybe when we both single we hang out. He then says, "Are you in a relationship"? I told him, "Nah but you are" and he stops speakin....typical nigga response, silence.