So Busy That I Do Nothing

Today I watched Justin Timberlake's "My Love" video for the first time ever. That song came out back in 2006 and four years later I finally get to see part of the reason why it was so popular. The dance moves, T.I.'s guest appearance, and of course the metrosexual look that Justin established so effortlessly, lol. When that video did come out I was busy working my two jobs, traveling from Morrow to Alpharetta by taking the bus/train, and was juggling two guys at once. I was a very busy girl back in the days of my early twenties. Now here I am working a full-time job, a single-mom, and no man yet I'm still just as busy as I was back then. What am I doing wrong or why is it that I'm just now realizing something isn't right?

First thing that takes up most of my time would have to be my job. I hate that most of my time is actually occupied by something I hate so much. I wish that I could spend more time with my daughter because she is like the coolest kid I know....yeah I'm bias but I don't care cause she's my baaaaaaaby, lol! My job is so full of shit that I wouldn't be mad if they did fire me, unemployment doesn't sound bad at all in comparison. I'll never be able to move to a better position unless I kiss the right ass and do it in the right way. Also, that job has caused me so much stress that I can't relax, it takes a few shots of Ciroc or some type of alcoholic beverage to ease my nerves. I even have nightmares about that place, so not even in my slumber can I get a decent night's rest. I could go on and on and on about how horrible that place is but I proved my point.

Now my daughter does take up what remaining free time I have but there are no complaints about that. I just have a complaint about being a single-mommy because not having help around the house and having to do everything for not only me but also for another person can be difficult. On my two off days I try to chill but those are the days that I attempt to cook and clean (notice how I say "attempt") and that's also the days I meet up wit my trainer to workout and handle any business that needs to be taken care of. So I never have a chance to really sit back and relax. All I want to do is work an easy job that pays a decent salary, have more time with my baby, and get my ass back in school. Is that too much to ask for??? I guess so cause I been busy like this for four going on five years now and I still have not accomplished anything major like a degree, a career, or even a man.

I just miss that slacker lifestyle I use to have. Waking up whenever I want to, doing whatever I want to, being able to leave/travel whenever I wanted to. I can't do shit anymore period!!! Its really fucked up if you can't shit or piss without feeling rushed but that's my life. The only reason why I'm even able to sit here and write is because I cancelled two appointments. I'm in serious need of a major change because I refuse to live my life like this and miss out on precious moments with my child. Until then I guess you can call me Ms. Busybody cause I'm always doing something....